Thursday, December 30, 2010

Grammar Nazis on Master Yoda

Ze Grammar Nazis on The Swap's real name

Ze Gramma Nazis on SMS Language

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Ignorance A Day,Keeps Apple Rich.

I have always related anything to do with computers to Bill Gates.Not only cause he founded Microsoft Windows but mainly cause he din't try to rip us of our cash with ridiculous sale tactics.
Steve Jobs on the other hand.
He likes stuffing dead rodents in his rectum and of course,making more and more money through hiking prices of his douche friendly products.But why,why would you buy a Mac instead of a PC?
If your brain is transmitting a message to your mouth which reads "because it looks good" then I suggest you shoot your brain before your mouth gets to know anything.
So apart from that I'm guessing its the uncanny ability to avoid crashes and viruses and STDs?
(On an unrelated note)...Grow some balls..and wear a condom.
Why would you even bother to even think about considering to bother to think about considering buying any of apples products?? (Mind-fuck much?)
The image below pretty much sums up my entire argument.
More over,Twilight has an Apple on one of its covers.So now what do you think?
Steve Jobs likes read rodents up his butt,all day long.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Just One Too Many.

So whats the deal with polygamy?I really don't get it.Here is the catch,for all those who think it is unfair to the woman are possibly quite wrong.Heres why,the guy is being used by multiple woman.A good thing??..Hell no it ain't a good thing.
Maybe for a week or two but then what?Having one wife itself seems pretty messed up with the nagging and what not and then having more than one wife.Man that shit is so messed up it is just beyond me.
"Love" would probably die brutally right in the early days and there are kids...Kids...and kids...and more kids.
Now,unless the guy owns a cow which shits out all sorts of currency it ain't going to make this situation easy.
And why call it Polygamy?I honestly when young thought it was some sort of a game.Well,it is isn't it.
I ain't pointing fingers at no religion or culture.
Cause pointing finger through a computer screen is like singing "OH FORTUNA" while taking a dump.Feels good as hell but ain't worth a crap.
This is all too much for me.

Friday, October 29, 2010

What does it mean?

No,this ain't a thesis on the double rainbow (That shit just cannot be explained).But rather it's about people without comebacks or better responses.
eg 1.
Me:"hey,you are a complete idiot".

Random 1:"what do you mean I'm a complete idiot?".

Honestly,it does not mean that I think you have a gorgeous brow and would love some oreos in your nostrils.It god damn means "you are an idiot"idiot.

eg 2.
Me:"Hey I think the guy you are looking for just left".

Random 2:"What do you mean he left?".

Sigh,I could explain his departure better to you but unfortunately I don't really speak retard.
So stop asking the meaning of statements which can never be questions.
It's stupid.Infact it's more than stupid.
It's a red raccoons butt cream.
So,are you a dead raccoons but cream?....well?
I thought so.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010



wat the fuck is that?


it dosent even look like a word.

All you fucking lol,rofl,roflmao,dsfhjgh(i just made that up)(no wait i didnt)(no i did.fuckface) "coolsters".


It is not wait kewl(fuckface),to use that.It is not a word and if u really found something that funny then laugh fuckers.


Online fine,its just acceptable,but when i fucking tell you a 10 min story about how i banged your neighbours mom(actually yours) and then got caught by neighbours dad(your dad) and all i get is a fucking lol then i am pissed.

and finally those "champs" who use it with their parents.

you wonder why your adopted.

That's It That.

Sm Shet

Monday, October 18, 2010

Spheres Of Courage.

Courage is a universal concept.But being a student of Engineering,I need a unit to measure courage.Unknowingly we all do measure courage,and that too use the same unit.It's called Balls.Please do not restrict it to only guys and tag yourself as a sexist.
Everyone need to grow balls to show courage.Except if you thing about it practically,It's kinda like your mommas cooking....SICK and highly Disgusting/.
Now how exactly can we measure courage with balls?.It's quite simple actually.
Your show of courage means that your balls=2.
If no go then balls=0.

So are you a 2 or a 0?
By the looks of it,you seem like a 1.
Well I'm just saying.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Vampire Movie

I read Bram Stokers Dracula when i was 12.i was scared shitless.To date i sleep better when i can cover myself to my neck with my blanket,because i thought that i could fool all of them vampires by pretending not to have a neck...

and they wouldnt want just the head,right...?


And its not only Stokers book that sends chills down the spine.The works of Edgar Allen Poe and the dabbling of Stephen King still give me the heebie jeebiees.But the newer series of vampire fiction have a different effect on me.

when i watched Twilight,i wanted to rip off my head and stuff it in my unmentionables.


i dont get it why the creatures of darkness would turn into human disco balls in the day...

vampires must've loved the 70's!

i will take the time to state the obvious fact.

Stephanie Meyer is a talentless bitch,who wrote this book during a five year period.

im talking about the other period.

And she has done a wonderful job of brainwashing women all over the world.hey why dont you go on facebook now and see how many dumbass girls have uploaded statuses saying "TEAM JACOB" and pictures of all those twilight makes me sick,honestly,physically ill.every time i see one of these i just wanna crawl up and die.

Thats all folks,this is Three Dog.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Parallel Armageddon.

Notice how everything that is logical and sane clashes with the eternal truth.Hence I give you an alternative to your belief.The war that breeds under our noses and yet over our heads.The truth to the false pretensions we are under in.
Yes there is a war.
Who are fighting in this war you ask?
Why don't we know about it you ask?
Where are the cream cakes you ask?
Why don't you have many friends you ask?
(You ask too many questions,And I don't like you very much)
The 4 paths to extinction:

1.The Penguins.

Easily deceive able due to their dumb walking style.Know to have originally founded Ninjutsu and created Tuxedos.These creatures of the deep Antarctica region put their plans of world domination to action with their superior skills of town planning and ice surfing.
You thought Ice age was a natural phenomenon?
Think again.

2.The LoLCats.

Known for their love for cheese burgers and hated by the grammar Nazi's for their ignorance in spellings,these furry specimens infiltrate into households and later into the sheer system on which mankind runs on only to sabotage the order created chaos and in turn total domination.Further divided into 2 sub groups namely.

   2.1 Basement Cat.
Specializes in stealing any beings souls.Lurks normally in the quiet shadows of our homes and streets.Love to snack occasionally out of bins.Said to have claws that have been given by Lucifer himself.Only thing stopping them from stealing your souls right now is back rubs.
And of course cheese burgers.

   2.2 Ceiling Cat.
The good of the two,Ceiling cats are known to always have an eye on you.Always watching you no matter where you are.You can run,and even hide but they would have seen you while you were at it so Escape FAIL.They are watching you....right stop fapping.Good always comes with a cost.The same as the Big Mac to be precise.Combined with the uncanny powers of the basement cat....
There will be no mercy.
And Cheese burgers.

Cracked under the greed of humans,the leprechauns have taken their stand.The most violent of the lot,these bad-ass mofos were the first to unleash their attack.The attack causing confusion throughout the world damaging brain cells on the way.
LO BEHOLD "The Double Rainbow"!!!
4.The Aliens.
They are omnipotent and probably the most ancient of the Titans.
Aliens have successfully disguised them selfs among the mere humans and animals alike.Feared for their technology and adored for their slick hairdo,these freak shows know no bounds of extermination.
They know no peace.
Mostly because they can't pronounce "P" and are colorblind to white.
Maybe they were never meant to..

The real question is.
Whose side are you on?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Yeah,Of Course It Relates.

I'm not sure how many of you grey brained imbeciles noticed how most of the television ADs have absolutely nothing to do with the product that they are trying to sell.How is a soft drink ever going to help you make friends.Not unless you buy one for someone everyday.And there I smell desperation.And a financial depression heading your way.
When does eating a candy of any sort make your sense of communication mutate?
A mango drink which I am pretty sure gave somewhat of an orgasm to Katrina Kaif?!
But nevertheless these ads compare nothing to the ones made by the Arab community during any major football events.Amazingly an AD about anything and everything can be related to football.Be it a cell phone company,fast food joint,hair shampoo,cooking oil,hell even a baby diaper AD.At first you go like "WTF" or "Dude,this is fucked up right here" but then again don't you see what happening?There are no creative heads or advertisement in-charges  behind these insubordinations.They have appointed genetically modified apes to do it.
Trust me.These Advertising Apes have been flushed out of their so called remaining creativity and given the knowledge to edit and film.
But you got to agree.Those apes are doing quite a fine job,being apes and all.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

God are you there?It's me,Religion.

Well we gotta believe in something.I believe in a superior being.But thats not the point.
Religion gravely questions Logic.But then again,so do human emotions.Mistaken me not for an Atheist,for I think Atheism is over rated.But it isn't the Atheists who create problems.Hell it's not even the extremists(at times).In fact it's those middle men who normally are as quiet as a deaf man's thoughts but when somehow something sparks up,it's them standing in the front with fires and swords.
I don't really blame Religion,cause i don't like to take chances.Hell does not sound pleasant.But I blame the fact that there is "Unity in diversity".Thats just ridiculous.
Diversity always...always leads to group-ism.And diversity due to Religion never leads to anything good EVAR.
But then again,we gotta believe in something right.
I believe in a God.But there is also this familiar concept that we are all unwilling to digest.
No matter what we believe in,no matter how accepting we are of other beliefs and tolerant of other's ideals,In the end....We are all so Fucking Fucked.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The line,You have crossed it.

I puked in my mouth,and the honey popcorn I had been munching on wasn't even to blame.I had come to watch this hindi movie "Dabangg" which had reportedly made a lot of money on its opening week.
This movie like most of the other "blockbuster" movies was a major fail.
Judging by your over acting looks and stares (Just like the nonsense you appreciate) you must be thinking that I have been washed into the western culture.But am I...
Movies like Lagaan,3 Idiots,A Wednesday,Dev D,Rock On and a few others made me think that there was hope for Indian Cinema.But those darn Indian directors and script writers just wanna prove me wrong.
Now being an Indian boy I'm a complete traitor to the Indian bollywood scene.It's just BS.Here's why.
1.Originality.There is none.

2.Being inspired is one thing,but ripping off an entire scene like it's no body's business is just wrong.

3.Movies are mainly made from the prime purpose of entertainment.And by the looks of it,the locals have some fucked up sense of amusement.

4.I still don't get how do them love birds start dancing on a song at some European country with some random people joining them knowing the exact same dance moves and the music being played in the sky somewhere.I mean
Yeah wise crack I know it was Egypt but couldn't find any other pic

5.Dialogues.They never seem to know when to stop talking.

6.Over acting.Everyone seems to be way across the line.waaaayyyy across.

7.The bad guys.They are just too stupid.Way too stupid.

8.Most of the movies seem to have the same template.Hero has tormented childhood,grows up to be some hot looking nut-job,bad guys are some retarded fucks.Hero dances and does nonsense to impress hot looking chic randomly seen during the movie.Some really effed up sense of humor in the middle.Some shit the bad guys do,hero seeks revenge.There,I could make it big too in Bollywood now.

9.The songs,ohh the music....least tell me in advance so that I can chop of my ears before hand.

10.And there is the Kollywood down under whose actions scenes are just...well..see for yourself

Well I'm not saying that them white folks have it great all the time.But that's not even the point here.
I mean really.Stop encouraging these Indian movie directors.This will never end well for the human race.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Haters Will Hate

A few people have a problem with me trying to judge others.But I think of it this way,by tagging me as the one who judges others, YOU have judged me too.
The tables my friend,they have turned.
But not so much cause then we'd have a turn table without a DJ.
And if you think that was bad,wait till you hear what your mom did to conceive you.
There's something that I really liked about the people from the south.And by south I mean the black people.And by black people I specifically mean the low riders,and by low riding I am describing their pant's current status.
You could say what ever you want around them,being one of them ofcourse and they won't judge you jack.
Instead they bust a cap on yo ass.
haha those damn gangsta rap enthusiasts never fail to amuse me.
Well,you know what they say,
Sticks and stones will break my bones,but words don't do shit cause them sons of bitches are illiterate.

I don't hate gangstas,I just don't see the point of them existing.
Or you for that matter.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Nothing personal.Just rhetorical.

Recently I came to notice through a friend of mine the concept of  'why-ing'.It is nothing but the power to veto something into non-existence as it rips out the sheer soul of the subject.
It basically works this way as it follows a strict natural algorithm.
  1. A person trys to enlighten his peers through recently attained knowledge,through the medium of humor.
Srinath: "What do you call a group of farmers stuck in a traffic.?...Kissan Jam". 
    2.  Upon reading this monstrosity,random friend decides to 'why' it to stop this abomination.
Random 1:"why Srinath,why"?
   3.    Upon being 'why-ed' the above clause looses it's essence..nay...dignity.
          And hence forth be never spoken about again.And thus rendering the argument invalid.

I believe all the wars  and disagreements can be stopped using this method.
So let's 'why' their asses to hell.
Stop wondering why jackass,because we are stealing their jobs.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Hold the cheese please.

I'm sure you have noticed,but there are a lot of lame people around nowadays.Unnecessary displays of affection is the real reason behind global warming and tapeworms.Damn right.Those innumerable hearts and kisses and hugs and devil knows what else make me sick to my stomach.
Well haters will hate but I think is highly lame to spam your "besties" (bleh)  wall with your affection.No one wants to see that.
And for the sake of the dying whales in Japan.DO NOT put up a random emo chicks picture as your profile picture.
It is just false advertising.And like I always say,
There are no ugly photos,just ugly people.
Stop complaining (irony much?)! and deal with it.
Young skanks growing up to be nothing but a pain in the society's ass.<insert yo momma joke here>

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Just the way I like my coffee.

A few weeks back I had posted a status regarding my honest feeling about racism and the seriously flawed theory behind it.What did you expect,I couldn't possibly write a note about Arthritides after watching Remember The Titans and a documentary about Martin Luther King in the same night.So racism it was.And my words of wisdom went something like this.

Racism surely has a major flaw in the color aspect,considering the fact that black kinda empowers all the other colors.
And white according to me isn't even a color.
Stupid KKK.

But then some bright sunshines respond to me saying that white is a composition of all the colors and arguing about Newton's color wheel.
Honestly people,those white red necks won't understand the Newton's color wheel even if it came up and bitch slapped them and drilled their mommas on top of their television sets..
And besides,the African origins should have used their semi-colored brains to come to same result I did.
Would have helped them against the tight belting they got hence forth.
Being a brown Asian boy in the middle east,I know less than I need to about this outdated issue.
So I guess it's all cool now back in the west,You won't get fucked around for what color of skin you got anymore.
Unless you are black of course,
Cause that shit never gets old.
My bad.

Rules of life

Had posted it as statuses on facebook but want to repost it here as a collection.And I don't really trust facebook very much.

Rule of life 101

If it feels right,it's probably wrong.

Rule of life 102

If it feels wrong,someone is having fun at your expense.
And chances are,it just might be You.

Rule of life 103

Freedom of speech isn't really practiced,it's the Freedom of hearing which is the real deal.You may say what you want but I have the freedom to choose weather I like what I'm hearing.
If not,then we have a problem.

Rule of life 104

There is always a catch.

Rule of life 105 

No matter how smart,attractive and utterly deceiving you are,there is always someone better than you.And you can't do anything about it.
Don't be
cause the same rule applies to stupidity.

Rule of life 106

You might find my thought as shallow as a Chinese kid's swimming pool but almost everyone only like someone else only for what they look like and not for what kind of person they really are.
No one would fall in love with a exception of Darwin's theory of evolution (an ape look alike if you will) even 
if he/she is an amazing person.
Admit it.

Rule of life 107

Those who abuse the peace hand sign shall go to hippies hell.

Rule of life 108 

If there is no bad news,trust me that's good news.

Rule of life 109
Good humor is never copied,only shared.


A little more than subtle.

I believe the charm that used to be in vulgar abuses is there no more.The "sting" is not just something that sticks out of a bee's buttock but rather the delivery and precision of a verbal abuse.Three are three different ways to give out a perfect abuse depending on the situation and the size of the brain to whom to speak out to.

1.The straight forward "red-neck" mannerism.
2.The delicate placement.
Your mom is chubby and works at a brothel as a prostitute. 
3.The ingenuousness which will probably go over everyone's head.
 Your big boned mother earns money by walking down the thin line between pregnancy and STDs.
So that being that,you should go fuck yourself.

See what I did there.That's the fourth kind of abuse.It doesn't get listed cause it's called the Ninja abuse.
You never know when it's coming.
Just like your momma felt about me yesterday night.
Ok seriously.I got to stop.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Ruffies for your queries.

Considering the name of my blog,I'd say it's more of a discussion of doubts than a complaint box.
It's human nature to question things.But raising your fist requires balls,and hence woman need not complain and rather make the damn sandwiches and clean them clothes like they are supposed to.(NO,your a sexist).
You probably had it incorporated in your pea of a brain to complain about things right back when you were given the gift of life, your dad's ball sack.
what!..unless you are the son of god, I hardly doubt you were dropped by a drunk stock.Yeah,going to be awkward looking at your dad right now huh.Never mind that.

For it is I

A little about myself.
I consider myself a dreamer.Dream about doing great things.So don't be so quick to judge when you see me dozing...

What part of little din't you get?